When I wake up tomorrow, will you still be here?

2:45 AM


Truth be told, I have this "bad" habit of pushing guys away. Sometimes I just don't really like them more than as a friend; but other times, I push them away to see if they're willing to come back. In my perception, if they really like you, they won't give up on you. But, sometimes, I guess I tend to over push them which makes them believe that I don't feel anything special towards them - even though I do. It's quite a bad habit to break. I know people get tired and they lose hope but I just can't help it. I just have a hard time trying to figure out whether or not a person is truly sincere or not. There are instances wherein I can feel that the person is sincere but a part of me would still want to test his sincerity.

It was during a conversation with a friend that I had an epiphany or something. I was giving him love advice when I suddenly realized, the reason why I do what I do is because at the back of my mind I question, "Yes, this guy likes me but... Until when?" I guess this is because there are those who leave you hanging out of nowhere. No explanation whatsoever. One day they tell you they like you and next thing you know, they are out of your door and you don't hear anything from them. Not even a single word.

Well, I guess I just need reassurance that you won't leave me. That what you feel is real and isn't temporary. That when tomorrow comes, you won't feel differently about me. That's it.

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